What do you think of my poem, and what should I call it?

Tell me your opinion on this.



It might not make sense to you in some parts, but it's one of those personal-ish kind of poems. You'll probably be able to understand most of it, though=) It's kinda choppy at times...I can't seem to make it flow.

Also, what should I call it?





I am like a ceramic vase

Molded by a deceiving potter named Trust

I gave myself to you

you placed fake flowers in me

and I couldn't tell the difference

You dropped me on the ground

And I shattered over time

I still lay in those fragments

Awaiting the day of your return

Because I can't hire Trust to repair me now

And I know I should back away

But things have gone too far

You are my drug, and I don't regret my addiction.

But still you leave me here

In a little pile of ceramic

Melting my heart, letting it dry, and breaking it all over again.

Will this ever end?



Bleh=/





Thanks to everyone who answers this





Oh...just so you know, I'm 13

Also, can you please star this?

What do you think of my poem, and what should I call it?
It's very nice, there's a lot of wonderful images in here. I wonder if there are two poem in this one. How would you feel if you took the "like" out of the first line? Why not go for the metaphor "I am a ceramic vase," rather then the simile "I am like a ceramic vase." Often metaphors are stronger. I don't much care for the line "I shattered over time," simply because shattering is not something that happens over time. I know what you are trying to say with it but maybe think if that's how you want to phrase it. Also I disagree with the notion that punctuation is always necessary, I think it depends on what you are trying to do.. You writing about being broken works well without punctuation because the broken grammar in ways mirrors the broken narrator in the poem. In other words the lack of grammar shows that there is something out of place just as the narrator in the poem is out of place. I read it fine without punctuation.
Reply:"You are my drug, and I don't regret my addiction."



This is an exceptional poem, this line tho, didn't to fit into the theme of it.



Keep on writing and Thanks for sharing!
Reply:beautiful just so beautiful! I love it!
Reply:I find your missive an enjoyable read. However, you have completely ignored punctuation and sentence structuring. All works need these definers to make the piece more easily understood. It is almost a great free form if it weren't for the items I listed. You can learn how to punctuate in poetry by reading as much work from other free form poets. (Google "free form authors" and see who the most read are.)



I interpret this piece as "A Castaway Vessel", or "Forever In The Sun"



Good luck, I would like to see more of your work.