Could any native english speakers help me with this?

Hi.



I translated a song to english.

This is a different part from which i asked about yesterday.

Does this make any sense? can you understand it?

If there is anything weird, please tell me. :D



When a late wind that was wandering alone

loses its way breathing hard,

I ease my sorrow in this world

with the raindrops of this noon.



If I collect all of my loves for a thousand years

would it be enough to express all my heart?

Today again I linger on at the end of the sky

where the moonlight is sleeping.



When my sadness as thin as withered flowers

cannot fall asleep worrying about my tangled life,

I cling to the rough sigh

which would eat deep into my heart .



If I collect all of my longings for a thousand years

would it be enough to express all my heart?

Today again I linger on at the end of the field

where the rising sun is shining.



Thank you in advance.

Could any native english speakers help me with this?
The words are very beautiful and has strong imagery and should make a great song. Not every word in even the best songs make sense, and lot of them have questionable grammar, so I would not worry too much.
Reply:Many songs that are sung in another language actually have different words and often meanings. It′s almost impossible to translate from one language to another. The way sentences are formed, they maybe formed completely different in another language. In English you could say "Beautiful day" but in Spanish it would be said "Dia bonita" (day beautiful).

acne