My fiance wants no part in wedding planning, is this normal?

So we are planning on getting married and I have started to plan the wedding. I want us both to enjoy it so I ask my fiance his advice sometimes. He just shrugs it off and says he doesn't care about the wedding, just being married to me. Well thats fine but I do need some input from him right? He even got mad at me earlier today because I ran an idea about a wedding location by him! He said "I told you I don't care about this stuff" Is this normal or what? Has anyone else planned a wedding without their fiances? I mean I understand him not wanting to pick out flowers and colors and stuff, but basic stuff like wedding location and vows and stuff wth!!

My fiance wants no part in wedding planning, is this normal?
No it's not uncommon for some groom-to-be's to yield all of the wedding planning to the bride-to-be. I would suggest you sit down and have one last talk with your fiance openly and candidly. Let him know that while you understand he is not interested in the general aspects of wedding planning you would like to know if there are some specific plans he would like to be included on (i.e., rings, tuxedos, limos, cake testing) since his opinion is important to him (be sure to give him specific examples of how he can be involved). If he specifies a few things, then include him in the planning of them and just inform him what your final decisions are on the rest. If he doesn't specify anything, I would continue planning things but base your opinions on things that he would also like even though he isn't very involved in the planning since you should have some general ideas of his likes and dislikes (favor drink, color, meal, etc.). Plus you can always get opinions from your wedding party and parents if you would need suggestions if he's not particularly interested. And even if your fiance decides not to take an active role, still let him know how important it is to you that he at least listens when you want to inform him of the final decisions you make. I'm sure he'll be willing to do this if you let him know that you won't overwhelm him with wedding plans on a daily basis.
Reply:I know exactly where you are coming from! I am planning my wedding and have been for the past 8 months and I have had no help my my fiance. I guess it is normal for them to just not care but he is even paying for everything and still doesn't want anything to do with planning. Not even does he want to help with registering for gifts. I have been doing it all without him and I am at the point now where I just leave it alone. I guess its more of a womans thing than a mans. I totally know how you feel though. Congrats on your upcoming wedding and goodluck with planning!
Reply:My fiance really doesn't care that much, either. All he really cares about is the food and the bar, and I did give him a few tasks, one of which was the Tuxes for him %26amp; the other guys, and the gifts for the groomsmen. Other than that, its "whatever you want, honey." It does help alot that way........
Reply:When I was planning my wedding (we got married last August) my husband was part of everything! He REALLY wanted to have it at a cool place and he wanted everything to look nice...he knew I could have done it on my own, but he wanted to be apart of it too. He picked out the tuxes and colors and everything. I wouldn't have it any other way...if he didn't care about the wedding, I probably wouldn't have married him! It was a pretty special day, and was even more so because it was something we did together.
Reply:Thank your lucky stars you get to have the pick! Mine is too interested. I told him choosing colors and cakes and decos is girls stuff and that I may consult with him about the choosing, but he is not going to tell me what colors and such we are going to have. lol
Reply:Sad yes, abnormal no
Reply:Is this normal? In a word, yes. Many men just want to know where they're supposed to show up and what time. Don't run ideas by him. Make the decision, and say "We're going to have our reception here. OK?" He'll speak up if he has an issue with something, but just proceed without him otherwise. However, ask for his input for the tuxes.
Reply:yes, but still ask his advice and stuff. You and he are paying for the wedding, after all!
Reply:Men tend to view weddings as an ending, a death (of thier bachelor lifestyle/freedom); while women view it as a new beginning, a birth (the fulfilment of purpose). Not to say he doesn't love you; it merely is not an event to be celebrated, just accepted. Like a father who gives away his daughter. On one hand he's glad and looks forward to grandkids; but on the other he doesn't like knowing someone is having sex with his daughter.


Just let him celebrate this new phase of life in his way, and you in yours. The key to a happy marriage is agreeing to disagree and acceptance. We men are simple creatures and you women tend to read waaay too much into our simple acts. Start working on acceptance now and maybe this marriage will stick...
Reply:This is normal for a guy. Especially if he is not paying.





If he doesn't want to plan it don't force him to.
Reply:My fiancee doesnt care about any of the stuff either, if we had it his way we woudl have run off to vegas months ago. I would say the only things you need him for is The tuxes, registering for gifts (at least get a list of what he wants from him) and the honeymoon planning. But i would also tell him that you need him to just listen to you talk about it sometimes. He should be able to do that for you. Mine patenently listens to me talk about all this stuff and i say what do you think and he shrugs or says whatever you want. He is excited about the wedding its just guys dont put a lot of thought into it. They just want to marry you and party really.
Reply:Yea that's kinda weird. Most guys don't care about girlie details but being completely uninvolved is not good. You need to discuss this with him and tell him how it makes you feel. If he doesn't respond well to that then maybe you need to consider what kind of husband he will make.
Reply:it may be a tad extreme, but I know my fiance could care less, he has told me numerous times that this is my wedding and I can have it, I think he just doesn't wanna deal with it all, so I understand.....he does have to get over it to an extent when it comes to things like his wedding party and who he invites, he has to tell you these things but beyond that, don't be surprised if its completely up to you!
Reply:It is completely normal. It is rare to have the guy actually interested, they just show up. You'll find this after the wedding also, they don't fret about plans, gifts etc. On Christmas Eve I would ask my husband would you like to know what the kids are opening tomorrow and what you are giving your family members.
Reply:Most men are like this..they just want to know what time they should be there.
Reply:This is a look into how things are gonna be with your husband. He should at least be taking some interest in the wedding planning. Maybe he's just not into getting married even though he said he only cares about being married to you. And when its time to do things around the house like cooking and cleaning he'll use the same excuse. He doesn't care about those things cause he knows you'll take of it all. Put your foot down and demand he take interest in the wedding planning.
Reply:What you mean their are different types of flowers?? LOL


Yes, it's normal... Guy do not care. Just involve him in the parts he will like picking out the booze and food testing. That's all my guy cares about. Mine doesn't even know where the wedding is..... he hasn't seen it yet!! LOL But he came to the cake testing :)





Guys don't care about girly little details like flowers and colors.
Reply:While it's not "normal" it's typically a "guy" thing. Let's face it, the wedding IS 99.44/100% about the bride. And, think of the satisfaction you'll get when he has to participate in the rehearsal. Remember the old adage "If you want something done right, do it yourself". Just try not to become a "bridezilla" because it can be stressful. Best of wishes for a long and happy marriage after your perfectly planned wedding.
Reply:Men!





I knew when we got engaged that my husband would have ZERO interest in planning. I didn't push the issue much with him. I told him it was his day, too and he had a say in the decisions we made. But while I didn't want to bore him with things he didn't care about, I didn't want him to feel like I was taking his day away from him, either. So we compromised. I told him I felt he needed to meet the photographer %26amp; videographer we were hiring, as they'd be with us all day, and we both needed to like them. Those were key. Aside from that, I made arrangements for things like the cake, the invitations, etc. and then told him what I was doing and when, and gave him the option to get involved or not. I told him he was free to pass, but if he didn't like what I picked, too bad. :) When I got to the invitations, his eyes glazed over when he saw that book. I picked out five I really liked and then he actually picked his favorite from those (so HE did the wedding invitations!!).





I guess at the end of the day, it's all in how you spin it to him. For me, giving my hubby the option on each decision worked. Some things he did, some he didn't. The best thing I can tell you is to talk to him - but don't bug him to help you. It's not worth the stress!!! Good luck!!
Reply:Its very normal. Its like your fiance asking you to be involved in picking out a new engine for his car. You wouldn't know where to start and you wouldn't have much interest in doing so. Guys see weddings as a girls thing, something they want to be a part of on the actual day but not so much leading up to the day. You can't expect a man to want to be involved with picking out flowers, and dress colors... otherwise is he was interested you would be marrying a gay man.
Reply:That is sad that he does not want to participate or support you in one of the most important day of your lives.


I wonder how he will be at the birth of your children.
Reply:some men just want no part of planning they think it will make them lose there cool. I myself planned alot of my wedding day but I also was a cook at the hotel I worked at so I worked on the whole catering with my boss. Some guys like doing it others feels it is the brides place to do it all. Think of it this way buy him not helping he won't no how much money you are spending lol. Congrats and just be happy you have found your knight in shining armor. God Bless.
Reply:Apparently he has issues about the wedding. But also, you may be overdoing it a bit and he might be getting tired of the whole thing. How about downplaying it for awhile.
Reply:You know what, it is a blessing in disguise. Don't fight over his not wanting to be a part of the planning...just let it be. Just make sure that he likes the wedding location and church. Other than that, girl do your thing. He will need a little input on his tux, but you pick the color of the tux and the groomsmen's tux too. Don't worry it will be fine. It like decorating a home. My husband gives me free reign and doesn't want to be involved in interior decorating. As long as he has his comfortable chair in the den, he is very happy. So I go and pick out what I want..and spend within the limit he gave and it always turns out beautiful. He values my opinion because he is color blind...what could he tell me about color and style. So if he doesn't care about the planning...as long as he shows up on your wedding day dressed up in his tux and he loves and adores you and will make a good husband in every other way...drop the complaining..don't mention it anymore and go about your wedding plans. It is not that important for you to fight with him over this. It will be just fine.
Reply:Mine was the same way, although he did do somethings that I asked him...although the majority of the time it was like pulling teeth...lol!





He did do all the guys stuff on his own...although did wait until I hounded him enough about it...I guess he finally got tired of me hounding him about it.





He's been helping me with putting together the ceremony part. Like I'll pick out two verses that I like and then he has the "final" say, which ever on he likes best out of the two (or however many) I liked.





Try and get him involved in the important things...like reception area...ceremony...food...music. Other things just let him be...like colors...centerpieces...favors...things like that.





Good luck!
Reply:My fiancee and I had a similar problem. I would talk to him about an idea I had and he would shoot it down or ignore me altogether. He actually came up with a solution: Wednesday Wedding Night. It sounds dorky but what we do is go to a cafe to get away from the distractions at our house and go over the wedding plans together.
Reply:Its completely normal! My boyfriend told me that anything that makes me happy will make him happy. All he wants to do is get fitted for his tux and show up. Then we decided on a destination wedding with just our parents, siblings and my son.


I think most guys are like that. They have already been through picking out your ring, asking your dad for your hand and planning a proposal. He probably feels like he's been through enough of it and is just ready to get married. It doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or your feelings or the wedding. That's just how guys are. Girls think about this their whole lives. Guys...DO NOT. Its natural. Don't worry. At least he can't say later on that he didn't like this or he didn't like that about the wedding cause he didn't want to have a say in it. :) Keep your chin up girl!
Reply:I guess I'm a bit of a weirdo, because I liked being a part of all that stuff with my wife. It made me feel closer to her, and she appreciated the input. The funny thing is, the more we planned, the more we realized we were going to be paying out thousands and thousands, so we ditched the big wedding plan, had a small gathering in Vegas, and spent all that money on the honeymoon! It was a blast, and we planned that together too!
Reply:my husband could careless about these things too.i don't view it as a problem.think of it like this.......it's your day and everything should be your way (everybody expects this anyhow)you're the bride!!!!!!if he's content to show up, marvel at your beauty,say "i do",and let you have what you want .......where's the problem????? don't ride him about it ,because he"ll just start resenting the wedding all together.make your decisions and enjoy your wedding if he's willing to let you make all the decisions ,he trusts you and will respect what choices you make .not all men care about colors ,flowers, and cake.some are just content to have what they are given.congrats.
Reply:It is not normal and you NEED to let him know that you are not getting married by yourself therefore you should not be planning the wedding by yourself.