How honest should I be with my child about sex/babies?

My eldest daughter is 5 and when she asked about how she was born, I was honest and told her babies are born through a ladies "flower" as she calls it. She was fascinated and that satisfied her curiosity. I don't want to have to tell her about the sex part so soon, though I won't lie to her or make her feel bad for asking about it. Is it ok to tell her babies are made when mummies and daddies have special grown up kisses and cuddles? She already knows that babies take two people to make, just not how.

How honest should I be with my child about sex/babies?
I think you've provided enough information. If she asks for more, then provide her with more. She'll ask as she becomes more curious. Sex should not be a secret, and it should not be shrouded with bizarre myths. I think you might want to use appropriate names for genitals also, there's nothing wrong with it. I think you're doing a great job. Special cuddles and kisses are ambiguous enough to give her some information without overwhelming her with the mechanics of sex. Trst your instincts. You're a competent mom, and you know what your daughter is ready to hear. You're doing just fine.
Reply:You are quite right to answer honestly and directly as you did . It is very important not to shirk the question . I was advised , by an elderly uncle , when my daughter and her cousin eleven years old and rather forward with the boys , " Always keep the dialogue open ". I have been able to help my children and many others , whose parents couldn't face up to the questions . The first time was a shock , but I gave direct answers , after a little my daughter said "Oh " and went off to play again .

Unless children specifically ask , I do not think they should be told too much befor puberty or their early teens .
Reply:Only answer her questions as she asks but be honest when you do. If she learns early on that she can trust you for the truth about stuff like this, she will be more likely to turn to you as she grows older. You sure don't want her to get her information from her friends. Just look at all the questions that teenagers ask on this forum.
Reply:it depends how you want her to grow up... there are some people who say that a child who is deprived of this knowledge grows up 'sexually awkward' or 'insecure' because when they grow up they are unsure of what to do when its thier time............ im not really sure how to explain it... but it really does depend how you want your child to be when they grow up.
Reply:my daughter asked at 3... she asked only cause i was pregnant and wanted to know how her brother would come out..lol i told her out my monkey ( thats what we called it)..lol when she was a few years older she asked how babies got there... we told her that when 2 people love each other like her mom and dad they kiss and stuff and thats how babies are made through love... when she was about 11 we talked more about the female body and things that change and happen. when she got her monthly we talked about sex and love making. i didnt go into details on how u do it...lol i told her what everything was used for and how a child could be made if they werent having safe sex... i have always been close to my daughter. i have always been honest and open. i feel if she asked then shes ready to know... we are great friends but she knows im the mom 1st then her friend... and im proud to say she will be 17yrs old in a couple of months and still a virgin. she says she wants to make love not just have sex, she dont want to risk having a child with someone she wont love forever. and she tells me often this choice was made cause of how open and honest i was with her. u answer the questions how u feel your child will understand. so many dont ask and end up with babies when they are still babies. good luck u have many years of questions to answer
Reply:I think that's fine for a 5 year old. She should also be aware that certain parts of her body are private and should not be touched by anyone else unless her parents are present, but I really don't think that for a five year old you need to join up the dots and explain the details of sex.
Reply:well my answer would be to just let her find out naturally (from tv and other kids) thats how my kids found out and now they are fine



note: you dont want to keep her curious because she might want to experiment. so only tell her what she needs to know



best of luck :)

~godfreyandthandi
Reply:i think u musn't tell her rigth now anything ,cause she is still small and isn't ready to be responsible for such big conversation as she may play with such words u have and embaresse u wherever u go with a loud voice as she still doesn't understand .u can tell her when she is at least 10yrs but also with sme cautions when we were on her age our mum used to tell us such stuff when we reach at least 14-15!!

but we know that those are the third generation more technologed. i hope that works with u.
Reply:I would hold off on more details until she is like 10.
Reply:Be Very honest especially in Physical and sexual development. Here is a true story told to us by our psychology teacher... A young girl had her first menstruation but she did not had any proper education about those. So instead of asking her parents she asked their driver. The driver tricked her by raping her and said that the process stops the bleeding. The young girl had no idea that she has already been violated, she thought that what the driver did too him was normal, and no idea that the process may cause her to become pregnant. Soon it was found out but it is already too late.
Reply:They learn it at school anyway and not in a very nice way through some of the other kids. My son knows about sex since last year and he's 7..he heard it through some classmates. Just do what you feel is right...I did.
Reply:I have a niece who is 5 and she knows some basic stuff about babies and where they come from. But when I was pregnant she didn't know how they got out, she though every woman had a cesarean, Her mum told her that normally you push a baby out of your mini (her words), anyway my niece got a bit quiet about it, but we let it go. The next time I saw her she asked if it would hurt pushing a baby out, and I told her the truth that yes it would hurt but the Doctor could give my special medicine and that the pain gets me closer to holding my baby. She understood the basic concept and has informed me that she is going to have 4 kids, lol.

5 year olds get a lot more than we think, but you just have to put it in terms that don't scare or humiliate and if they stop asking questions about what ever you discuss let it go right then and there. They will ask again when they have processed what you told them to begin with.

Trust your judgment, she is your daughter, you know her best. 5year olds are very smart and clever.
Reply:above all do not lie to you child. answer the question honestly and just enought to satisfy her curiosity. as she grows older begin to get more involved. kids need to no by the age of 10 or so based on that child ability to understand. my daughter was about 9 when she wanted to know.
Reply:Leave it as a bit of a mystery for a while - I think by age ten there should be some discussion to make her aware of what to AVOID so as not to get the baby in the flower.

Isnt it sad that we have to take the innocence away?

Better that though than someone takes total advantage because she hasnt been told what happens.
Reply:i told mine about sex when she was 5 and again at 11